Memorial Day

It was 93 degrees today. Apparently spring is over. I spent Memorial day at the Eberhardt's, a family from church. They had a pool which we used a lot more than I thought we would.

Right now it's 1:20 am and I can't get to sleep. I was in bed for about an hour and 20 minutes. It's weird because I'm actually tired. Especially after being in the pool most of the day. Go figure.

The thing that is great about night such as this is that your mind starts running a mile a minute. You start making connections about things and feel like you've come to a new understanding on any of a number of things.

The unfortunate thing about morning after night such as this is that you're really tired and can't remember a single thing you thought about. What you do remember seems like complete rubbish in retrospect and you concluded (perhaps rightly) that it was just a big waste of time. Who's to say?

But what's weird is that even though it feels like there's a lot to think about, in comparison to you all in the blogosphere I actually don't have that much on my plate. I don't have to worry about raising 2-4 kids, keeping a marriage running, and making ends meet (I worry about this some but I have the flexibility to cut a lot of non-crucial expenditures).

Perhaps there's more to it. While i don't have as many things to juggle, my future is way more uncertain than yours. I have a clue where I'll be in 2 years (there's more than one option here). Beyond that, who knows? Every area of my life be it my occupation, location or "the relationship", (this grouping shall henceforth be referred to as LOtR, which for you Tolkien fans was entirely intended) etc is unknown. I don't have that "this is the way my life is and I have to just deal with it" thing.

I'm not sure if the family life thing makes things easier or not. One the one hand I would imagine you don't have to worry about LOtR It seems like your worries would shift more towards you children's development. Where will they end up, etc (their LOtR). That's an interesting transformation if you think about it. It almost as though there's an inverse relationship between self-concern and children, if things work right at least. Perhaps that's why marriage is such a good institution. I mean, you have to go from worrying about yourself, to worrying about yourself +1. It's sort of like a little transition period.

Maybe this is one of those dig deep but don't dig too deep things. I must warn you thought that if I lay in bed for another half hour, you're getting another post.